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First question I got is Have you tried Medifast and medifast? Looking forward for any answer or 2. Another quick question... When I was 5 years old, I started to get sexually molested by this teenager in my neighborhood. He would molest both myself and my friend, and there were many other times in which he would molest just me alone. The molestation occurred repeatedly for a few years. I look at pictures of myself and I was a normal sized child at the time the molest started.

I have spent years in therapy dealing with this issue and have a long ways and made a lot of progress.

When I did some journaling, I feel like I left my body when the molest happened. Currently, I dont feel like I am in body, if that makes sense. I feel like my body was not body and it was an instrument for others to abuse me..

I also grew up with an alcoholic mother, and my father was very physically abusive to the point where I lived in a constant state of fear and his physical abuse was so severe that I sometimes feared he would beat me to death. In addition, my father was a Catholic fanatic to the point that if I got caught telling a lie as a young child, he would tell me that God doesnt like liars and that God was going to send me to hell for lying. He said all the time that I was going to go to hell when I die because of my bad behavior. As an adult, I also addressed this in therapy because I used to have anxiety attacks really bad. I have a done a lot of work to unlearn what my dad pounded into my head, although there are times when I feel like I am destined for hell because of my past..

I felt it important to share this because I believe that in order for me to be successful on MF, I must face my underlying issues that lead me to over-eat in the first place. I want to reclaim my body back, I want to not live in fear. I want to have total faith that I will be okay forever and ever. I also want to trust people and allow them to be close to me because I have a hard time letting people in. I have been isolating. I think this is why I am sharing such intimate issues on the boardI dont personally know anybody and nobody personally knows me, so it is safer. Thanks for listening...

Comments (8)

Hmm... I need to find out myself. I don't know what is the right answer to your question. I'll do some investigation and get back to you if I find an useful answer. You should email the people at Medifast as they probably could help you..

Comment #1

What a brave and self-reflective post. Thank you for sharing your story! Past trauma shapes our brain and our body in powerful ways, but so too do the choices that we are empowered to make in the here and now. You are taking steps to take care of yourself, to do something good for yourself and we are here to support you in that worthwhile endeavor..



Comment #2

Thank you for sharing such a personal part of yourself with this community. I am sorry the adults in your life not only abused you, but didn't you keep you safe from other abusers. You must be very intelligent to have worked out a coping mechanism as a child to withstand the situation..

I am a food addict, but I don't have a trauma to hang it on. My bingeing began as a response to loneliness and feeling left out and un-nurtured. It wasn't anything intentional done by anyone, so I really can't relate to that. BUT, the symptom of bingeing, overeating and gaining are the same..

This program works very well. Please be sure you are doing the emotional homework while you are losing, so can deal with life without the food. Again, you must be very intelligent and strong to have survived, so this should be relatively easy. Best of luck to you...

Comment #3

It breaks my heart to read you story, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I couldn't leave this post without sharing about God's love, it is beyond understanding. Your father may be Catholic, but either an utterly mis-informed one who never read his Bible, or not a true believer. You see, the Bible says "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16. He didn't do this for the perfect people of the world, he did it for ALL the world, liars, thieves, murderers, and yes child molesters too. If you accept the free gift of salvation, it doesn't matter what you've done, His blood covers all sin.

I'm not a pastor, but would encourage you to seek one out locally and talk one-on-one to get a better understanding of the truth of God's word..

Best wishes for your Medifast success. It changed my life, it will change yours too.


Comment #4

I don't respond to often but had to respond to your post. I'm so sorry you had to go through everything you did. I'm completely amazed and proud of you for posting your story and going through the therapy to take back your body and your life! Some people can not face their past. Do not forget you are worth it! YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!.

Though I have different beliefs then berrigurl I do agree with her that your father may of said he was catholic but he was no catholic or christian for that matter. God is love. He didn't make us to be perfect. If we were perfect then we would be God...

Comment #5

Thank goodness that here you have found a warm, caring place full of kind and supportive people. You are very brave for putting your story out there. I wish you all the best...

Comment #6

Wow, your post was clear, concise, and deeply moving., we may not all be therapists, but most of us are women, mothers, sisters, daughters, and empathize with you, many here will have warm words of comfort and hope you post often, keep us tuned into your Medifast successes and any hints you discover along the the mother in me, I send you a hug and a prayer and positive vibes...

Comment #7

I am reading a great book that I think you might like and might help you. It is called A Course in Weight Loss 21 Spiritual Lessons for surrendering Your Weight Forever by Marianne Williamson...

Comment #8

Ah sweet girl.. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with sexual abuse issues... and I'm happy to hear that you have sought professional assistance. And I am here to tell you that there is relief, there is hope for us as survivors. It never goes away but it doesn't have to be our focus for a lifetime. The earlier we deal with these issues and reclaim our lives the better it is for our husbands and children and for US..

I too was sexually abused at the age of 5-7... and kept it hidden in my subconscious until I was 30 years old... food was my wall and my protector. I sought counseling with a gentle woman who taught me to trust and live my life without fear. Weight loss is a big step in reclaiming our lives.. that we can look good and dress nicely without repercussions by the indescriminate actions and verbal comments of males..

I wish you well my friend... life is good and sweet. I have given my life to Christ and know that He is my ultimate protector... I pray that you will move forward in your quest for a healthy life (inside and out)...

Comment #9

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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